no piggy banks, please

We have a coin counting machine, like many other banks, and our machine gets used every day. I wish we had rules posted for customers who want to utilize it. It would make life so much easier. There are certain things that tend to tick me off when I run coin for people. If I were to create a sign of posted rules for the machine, I would add the following guidelines:

1. Only US coins accepted
(I mean really, this is America. Speak English and bring your US currency.)

2. No wet coin allowed
(This one really should not have to be written in black and white, but sadly there is a good reason for it being number two on the list.)



3. Leave your piggy bank at home
(One of my pet peeves. You know how hard it is to get coin out of those suckers?! If you do bring your pig it will be smashed in pieces at discretion of teller. We are not legally obligated to post this anywhere in the bank. Fair warning.)

4. All plastic baggies will be tossed in garbage unless return is specifically requested
(There has to be a landfill the size of Russia somewhere full of these things. It's just embarrassing to keep asking people if they want their used Ziploc bag back. Do you even know how gross money is? I mean what are you going to do with it anyway? Disgusting. Go wash your hands.)


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Just recently, I have found a rare treasure at work that I keep all to myself. I'm not normally so possessive, but in this case I have come to terms with myself and made the exception. The item that is solely mine now came in the drive thru tube one day. (I assume it was left there by an unknowing customer.) My new friend is...

a pen.

Yes, you read that right. It is a pen.

I've never really understood why people get so picky about a writing utensil until I wrote with my new black inked pen -- it was like out of a movie. I could hear music playing and the world suddenly slowed down. I love this pen!

During the day, I keep my new pen right next to my keyboard and offer customers one of our crappy pens when they need to sign their name. I have actually tossed a pen immediately in the garbage as soon as a customer was finished with it. I'm not touching that thing. From the looks of the individual who used it, it probably has the bubonic plaque -- or worse -- all over it. No thanks.

I think a good pen improves penmanship, and believe me, I can use all the help I can get. People wonder why I didn't go into the medical field...

A couple of times I had no warning and a co-worker has had the audacity to use my pen! At these times, instead of making a scene (yes, I refrain myself from shouting and snatching it back as I am tempted to do) I just watch their every move until they put it down. I also try not to glare, but I don't know if I am successful at this. Today, a shady looking customer got a little too close to my personal space, and I immediately hid my pen. There was no way he was getting close to that pen.

Besides, he smelled funny.

I need to go hide my pen now.

the end.